pg 48


April 30, 2011, 3:44 pm
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greetings from vancouver where today is the exact one year since i’ve been in this town and so it makes sense that i’m out back on a saturday morning after work, probably the ritual/regular series of events i’ve come to know the most since being here. friday work, saturday porch, and saturday bed. from here i can see.

most of the mountains are draped in cloud cover but from what i can see of them underneath the clouds it’s sunny over there in north vancouver today. i like the tree in the backyard of my neighbours to the left, just starting to bud now and then through them are the other trees lining e.14th’s alley in various stages of reawakening, some even whose leaves didn’t go anywhere-more needles really.

today i’ll go to the laundromat and then i’ll come home. i’ll hopefully write a letter. wait i kind of feel like doign that right now.



April 30, 2011, 3:38 pm
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i do know you better than the rest but that doesn’t mean i’m no less frustrated by the way you handle things that make you sad.



April 11, 2011, 6:38 pm
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their plan to write a story out of their scrabble moves imploded when tom put down the word they had all decided would never be used. it wasn’t his fault, he was new to their weekly game and hadn’t been properly orientated as there wasn’t time. he had shown up late having got lost trying to find the vault as it had come to be known (mainly because the quality of writing coming out of these scrabble stories necessitated none one ever read such trash and thus, it stayed ‘in the vault’. they were getting better though).



universal truth(s)
April 11, 2011, 6:27 pm
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as far as sandwiches go hers is the best

elk isn’t just a good time remember

that eagle’s bald AND stupid

my tonsils appreciate me more than ever now that they live in a dumpster

the wisest thing about those teeth isn’t their sense of timing



April 11, 2011, 6:23 pm
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grapes aren’t the best thing to leave in your socks after you’ve put them in there and then started walking. it doesn’t make sense if you leave it longer than a minute or two. well in my experience. maybe you’re different entirely. those first few steps feel good though don’t they? so good.



April 10, 2011, 2:18 am
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it wasn’t a day of hard labour though still tiring. amazing how a day without sleep can affect (effect?) a person even if that person has spent the day just sitting there and looking, writing, and listening. at various points they’ll walk out on you even though the rain doesn’t fall in a manner which can’t tell if you’re looking at it the right way or where that sandwich even went. did you put it down on the desk, did someone throw it out. are my tangerine oranges gone as well. really? come on. those were in a bag and everything and the bag’s gone too, i was going to use that bag to clean up my dog’s shit later on. i even thought about it earlier when i was buying it, to get a bag even though i had my backpack with me because i know we’re running out of grocery bags because el took three of them to school. fack. so you took it then. or threw it out, one of the two. i can’t see why you would even think to throw it out in the first place. perfectly good sandwich that you’re too much in a rush to care to work around it or, unthinkable, come back later. and this isn’t a class thing. i’m not saying because you’re the cleaner and i’m at a desk means that i’m thinking it’s endemic of all cleaners. just that i had it out. adn now it’s gone. or maybe that’s it. it is a class thing because that’s where my mind went first. fack.



April 6, 2011, 7:28 pm
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our house on maddams st faces eastward so that it makes sense for me to wake up and swim around the light of the living room as there isn’t much else for me to do so why not that. we have a good living room with plants, and books, and wood that looks renowned. we have a giraffe that’s new (kat must’ve got it from somewhere) with painted yellow spots on its white wicker skin. i’ve put a lot of thought into determining what name fits best for this new friend but everything so far has felt forced so i’ve decided to leave it for a while. yesterday pondering our giraffe’s name i wondered after the process of naming your children and how long is too long to leave it nameless. i feel like i’ve heard it’s a fact that you can’t take your baby out of the hospital without first naming it. or how do you register a baby because there are things like home births and all of a sudden out in the world births. if you really wanted you could make a baby, birth a baby and then keep it a secret for life, tell it as it aged that friends and acquaintances were a luxury too steep for this secret person to afford, as payment for the bill of being birthed this child must use a different name each time or not use one at all. i will sometimes thank the biologies of kat and i for the decisions that they made for us, that our broken uterus and our low sperm count were to be irrefutable facts of our lives.

kat has a trouble with this and sometimes i do too but mostly appreciate that right now i have a new giraffe with which to fight the day alongside. in an hour i will get up off the brightly coloured carpet i’m now sitting on and open cupboards and drawers and fridges and ovens until i have a plate full of food in front of me. i will help my plants grow in the afternoon and i will take a nap and think (or think and then take a nap) after i garden. in our neighborhood the houses are only always split into smaller spaces so that while it’s only kat and i in here, below us are the postal worker and his friend the fancy men’s retail worker and both of their girlfriends who come and go but i can’t tell if they actually live there or just come and go frequently. i haven’t bothered to ask because of the time they asked me to walk less like an elephant and how whenever i start masturbating when kat’s at work they begin to laugh, almost like clockwork. i worry that i’m stroking vibrations down my body and through the thin floor that separates them from us.