pg 48


April 6, 2011, 7:28 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

our house on maddams st faces eastward so that it makes sense for me to wake up and swim around the light of the living room as there isn’t much else for me to do so why not that. we have a good living room with plants, and books, and wood that looks renowned. we have a giraffe that’s new (kat must’ve got it from somewhere) with painted yellow spots on its white wicker skin. i’ve put a lot of thought into determining what name fits best for this new friend but everything so far has felt forced so i’ve decided to leave it for a while. yesterday pondering our giraffe’s name i wondered after the process of naming your children and how long is too long to leave it nameless. i feel like i’ve heard it’s a fact that you can’t take your baby out of the hospital without first naming it. or how do you register a baby because there are things like home births and all of a sudden out in the world births. if you really wanted you could make a baby, birth a baby and then keep it a secret for life, tell it as it aged that friends and acquaintances were a luxury too steep for this secret person to afford, as payment for the bill of being birthed this child must use a different name each time or not use one at all. i will sometimes thank the biologies of kat and i for the decisions that they made for us, that our broken uterus and our low sperm count were to be irrefutable facts of our lives.

kat has a trouble with this and sometimes i do too but mostly appreciate that right now i have a new giraffe with which to fight the day alongside. in an hour i will get up off the brightly coloured carpet i’m now sitting on and open cupboards and drawers and fridges and ovens until i have a plate full of food in front of me. i will help my plants grow in the afternoon and i will take a nap and think (or think and then take a nap) after i garden. in our neighborhood the houses are only always split into smaller spaces so that while it’s only kat and i in here, below us are the postal worker and his friend the fancy men’s retail worker and both of their girlfriends who come and go but i can’t tell if they actually live there or just come and go frequently. i haven’t bothered to ask because of the time they asked me to walk less like an elephant and how whenever i start masturbating when kat’s at work they begin to laugh, almost like clockwork. i worry that i’m stroking vibrations down my body and through the thin floor that separates them from us.

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