pg 48


July 31, 2009, 5:07 am
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we’re not going anywhere. otherwise how would we ever get to think about running our faces along long streches of red red brick while walking along those long stretches. it’d be impossible. neither of us would really be happy. or that park i just found? i haven’t shown you yet i’m sorry, neither of us has had the time. hell i haven’t seen you in near 5ive days. but oh, it’s great. i want you to see it. it’s funny, how excited i am, for a space that doesn’t itself have any place for such excitment. we’ll get there, all pumped fists and cheek smiles only to get there, and realize the best thing to do is read a book, every now and then look up, ponder a thought (a deep thought) and notice how nice the ivy looks crawling itself all over the remnants of an old limestone building, maybe what was the town court house, or the town newspaper and its printing press. there’s a picnic table. and lush grass even. the day i went it was raining, the grass was wet so i didn’t sit down but had it not been i would have, it’s that nice. instead i chose the picnic table. but it’s all grass underneath. you know how sometimes they pave that tiny picnic table sized rectangle for it to rest sturdy, picnic responsibly or whatever, not here.

it didn’t matter that it was raining, and not because it was a light rain, even though it was. no, this may be the best part. there’s lattice or i can’t remember the word, the criss crossing sticks, as though looking from up top (probably from the big crane that’s there for construction in the building right beside, you know the one that burnt down, taking a bakery, a kitsch store and a bong shop with it, the one that apparently got started from drunk teenagers lighting phone books on fire. can you imagine?) you’d see what looked like a chess board. only instead of tiles there’s holes. nothing, there’s nothing. but then there’s something in that. in nothing. i’ve always liked when you ask me how i’m doing nothing when i tell you. well maybe i’ll do nothing watching tv or i’ll do nothing staring at that cardinal that likes to perch outside our house, why does it pick that spot over and over? or is it a different one each time? well the lattice (sp?) is covered in ivy too. so i didn’t get wet. a nature fort. wait. an urban fort? no, a 19th century urban fort? that’s better.

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July 30, 2009, 11:25 pm
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a wmn they know being a stripper, stealing glances, wondering, making their way there, where do they know each other from? the realm of confidentiality; resented, a reminder of the quick call to shut the windows lest the neighbors hear unhappiness; everybody fights, everybody; i lost my journal, you don’t see me care more than the tears i spilled.



July 29, 2009, 4:47 pm
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some sort of thing where one person (made of books) follows the dramatic ark of a bunch of persons learning and living and dying and crying. NOT college. MAYBE life, scrabble tournament.



we’re just friends
July 23, 2009, 11:24 am
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we’re going to the movies so we can find somewhere loud enough to hide my true feelings about my co-workers. except from you, beside us, in front of us, behind us, beside us

we’re going to a dance floor to make out

we’re going to the store, out of tea

we’re investing all the tea we have in rain puddles

we’re cutting our hands on the corners of binders

we’re filling those binders with stories

we’re producing really intelligent firewood for that unappreciative fire.

we’re thinking about it now, and come to think of it, the fire does appreciate the gesture.

we’re lighting other fires to show how sorry we are

we’re taking pictures of our heels

we’re developing those pictures

we’re finding our favourite pen, the one with the yellow body, bookended by those two blue parts

we’re using our favourite pen!

we’re waiting for the ink to dry on the pictures, careful not to smudge out “lookit!”

we’re finding different places around town

we’re frustrated with electrical tape

we’re congratulating our models on being the talk of the town



at this stage, at this time, in this world, making kids is just selfish. from this point on, it always will be.
July 23, 2009, 11:10 am
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i need to find a wedding dress small enough so that a beet could wear it. or the other way around. either way. doesn’t matter



July 23, 2009, 11:08 am
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is the sound deep red or is it the bells?



July 23, 2009, 7:58 am
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everybody was excited to read the will. the whole room was buzzing, even those who couldn’t fit so they spilled out into the hall. who would get what? they didn’t have to wonder long.first things first, everybody must touch the will. the will will first make its way around the table in the room before being passed to those lining the walls of the room. after this has been done, with no one allowed to hold on too long, the will would be passed sure as sin out the door to those waiting in the hall. when this happened, the executor got a tad nervous. anybody could see that.