pg 48


June 2, 2012, 5:33 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

and i’d been poked and smoked and it’s all fire. i don’t think the world makes much more sense that this but only because in my parents’ garage where the gardening tools are and where the barbeque is where my father will over grill and pay more attention to his book and base his cooking on the clock instead of common sense. i will not pretend either. the words that can come from other people that can drive me forward as these words from her voice are driving me forward now. there are many women in the world who drive me forward with their dark hair and beauty and surety and insecurity. tonight i can feel that i will die. and die i will, not tonight (hoepfully) but maybe soon, whenever soon. in these moments there is nothing to do. when life surges and i want to share it with everybody yet there is nobody. onward i guess. i guess these moments and these feelings are just for me. one day i will be dead. this isn’t news. it still feels significant to me. today i read a novel which quoted somebody i don’t know, i forget, who spoke about how the only true words are those written by the same hand that can erase. these are the words i know now. nobody knows this site, and if they do they don’t know me. that is fine. that is my space. this space allows me to both drop words to the public and keep them to myself. louise burns is on now. i am alone. i was alone in the house in vancouver when i first heard this song. and then my brother came to that house. and then he left and i had that house to myself. and i listened to that song again.

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