pg 48


June 16, 2009, 6:02 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

nobody shines on a greyhound bus:

“i care about me that’s it, i don’t care about the dropin peole the rich people. if somebody needs my help why would i get involved. i just want to get myself togther, do something, that’s it. guelhp’s just like trootono it’s an ass. you might as well get a ticket. get across the road get a ticket. you know? you know? i have a few friends that’s it. oh well, you now, he’s going to have to explain it four or five times. big deal. laughing at me. i think they’re really really shocked that i represent myself in court. they’re shocked. i’ve done it before. and i know what these people are trying to do. all this, you know, beer and just can’t stand it anymore, i just can’t take it. how does she know i have schizophrenia? i don’t have schizophrenia. i’ not paranoid. when i’m in a coffee show, they’re talking about me i know it. people arouidn this town know me. i read aobut this thing in the states about this guy who killed himself because people get picked on. and thos he’s a lawyer, he’s down on arthur street, presiding over drunk driver’s, all this corruption in the courts, might as well be a prisoner of war i’m telling you. it’s like i’m in germany. walking down the street and it’s nazis, waning people. it’s all nazis. i’m not jewish. i know it, i know it for a fact. so, i mean, it’s not fair, it’s like man. i don’t know who people can be so mean. these people in this city are worse than those people in there. it’s crazy, its’ scary it’s just not good. anyways, i don’t know i’m just, i wanna try and work on my math and stuff. you know, people like this think i mean nothing. it doesn’t work now. i just have to, i don’t know, i just have to…

acting takes a lot of practice. but i don’t know everything will work out. i’d like to get back to, i don’t know. i don’t even like my friggin apartment, it’s not kept up, i don’t know, i see too much. my friends help me out but…sometimes don’t worry if i get run ouver by a car, what’s the big deal, i get up. stressing me out, downtown. you know, it’ s like, i don’t know, can’t seem to say what i want to say. so i’m stressied out at school, most people are stressed out at school. they just found out they’re lying,, i know they’re lying, i’ll prove it. i just laugh at people who give me a hard time, i just laugh. this whole place is a head game, why not play. but i know i have a few friends who i can talk to. but i do want to get in and try, he’s so calm and patient, he’s always calm, calm and patience, he’s more, i just wanted to drop in and ask about it. ok, i don’t know, i just feel like where iam i supposed to go, where am i supposed to turn. yep. like you know what i mean, like, what about her, overweight. she talks to a guy who has no hjair, patches all over his body. like me, i’m stressed. but. you know. confide in her, then. i’ve said i’ve got problems, i’ve got a record. but it wasn’t the same teacher. i try to talk about problems, get stressed, it goes back in my face. oh yeah. you now what i mean? it’s going to start having no emotion. stoned. that’s the way it is for me. that’s why i dont even go out anymore. it happened the last i show approval, analyze. trying to stay out of problems. no i’m ok it’s just. i just don’t know who to talk to. it’s like veverything’s, i don’t know, i don’t care. to have a record. whenever anybody says it’s i’m guiilty. boy who cried wolf. it’s the same as me i’ve done stuff. i don’t wcare. my friend says oh i should pray for people. yeah. church. yeah but if it were to make sense, they get me, they want to see me in prisoin. so they’re bad. but most people don’t believe definitions anyways. believe what hey want. well this one guy at the police station said we could talk, but i don’t. yeah but i’m going to have to watch what i say. yeah but they know how to trace calls. i guess. i guess i can do that. i’m ok today though. just sometimes i talk to the right people, but you know, it’s not the right place. well no, it’s not like i’m going to do anything or say anything wrong. of course you are. alright. i wouldn’t call every day. i just don’t understand why someone would say something like that. teacher. there’s a guy who came and told me. i shouldn’t have told you guys that, i just. i can’t say that, becusae i’ve never seen. i try not to swear. no no i don’t want to make. it’s just such a waste of energy. i have to, it’s just not good for me. most poeple are consernced. most people are ignorant people. anyway i just wanted to. i know, i was working here with []. i just wanted to drop by and see that. my friends know me. i guess, anyway. i donn’t know why. i just want to try and focus on what i want to do, that’s it. ok, well kno, i should get here and do some work. i want to take hold of the school in the first place. good. yup. cause he just complains and stuff. ok ncie.”

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