pg 48

this is a day which merits charting though writing about it won’t make it any better. i was told that the tools i’ve used over the last 4 years will be of service but i don’t feel it. all i feel is an emptiness that i didn’t think was ever going to come because i didn’t think the world could be so cruel but of course it is. what else would it be if not struggle and more struggle so that i don’t know where to go from here. how many times have i seen that face that i long to see for so much longer but now know i won’t. it’s made you stronger my gut tells me of that struggle but so what because it doesn’t make it any easier. i guess life isn’t for making sense of what you may feel to be true in your gut.